May 2006


Hello, my name is Jessi, and I love food. I also can't work out right now like I'm used to because of a stress fracture (due to stupid lady in suv). These two things added up to Operation Drop It Like It's Hot becoming Operation Pick It Back Up. So, now I'm entering into Operation Seriously, Drop It Like It's Hot. Want to to know my stipulation? If I don't meet my goal by the time I leave for my trip to Korea, I can't eat sushi while I'm there (april- i expect you to hold me to this…). If you don't know, I have a love affair with sushi. It's probably the best food on the planet, next to Custard's. And the place I'm going in Korea has a restaurant that serves good sushi for cheap right across the street. This would be bad for me not to have access to good, cheap sushi. Therefore, the operation is back in full swing. What can I say? I lack will power, BUT I can do this… oh yes, I can. So- here's the plan. You, my readers, my friends, have full permission when I'm making horrible food choices to say to me, "Hey, Jess, have you seen Snoop Dogg anywhere?" That will be my cue to walk away and look for Snoop D-O-double G. If I say yes I have and ignore your efforts, you then have full permission to call me a pansy. And then kick me. I promise I'll thank you later…

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THE PROUD…

                        dad                         brother                     aunt

and our reason to be proud…

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May I introduce my beautiful niece, Taylor Paige. She was born today at 1:30 pm (after my rockstar sis-in-law pushing twice- go Ang). Brother is adjusting quite well, dad couldn't be more proud, and mom is recovering nicely. The rest of us are in awe…

Well done, Lord… Well done.

"Have you ever prepared to meet somebody who mattered a lot to you? You reach the door of the room where your friend is waiting, and pause before opening the door. Saint Ignatius suggests this picture as a preparation for prayer. Gather yourself, with your hand on the door-knob, and think: Something important is about to happen to me. Somebody important is waiting for me. I am walking onto Holy Ground, stepping into Sacred Space, going to meet the Lord of my life, the one whose name is I AM. I am preparing to invite God to deal with me, to speak to my heart. I will be receptive. I do not know what words to say, what thoughts to think, so I trust in the Holy Spirit, who will teach me from the inside. In that mood of confidence I open the door, to find God looking at me…"

This was on the prayer site that I frequent this morning. As I turned on the computer to go to http://www.sacredspace.ie, I was telling the Lord how I didn't really have any energy and how I wanted to do other things rather than spend the time I had thinking and processing and dealing, blah, blah, blah, and that He was going to need to do some work in me. (i love when i tell the Lord what He needs to do…) Then, I read that quote. HELLO!!! Talk about the right thing at the right time.

I realized that my approach to God at times is like my approach to.. well, this toilet.

toilet.jpg (Hang with me here… We're going somewhere…)

Here's this toilet, and it happens to have a lid on it, and it happens to be in a public bathroom. (anybody recognize the stall?…) When I approach it, I'm always afraid to lift the lid. Why? I know what's there- water. But every time, I act like a giant dragon is going to jump out and eat me alive when I lift up that lid. Has that ever happened? No. And I'm pretty sure that it never will.

What does this have to do with my approach to the Lord at times? Glad you asked. Here's the Lord, who has always done amazing things, who has always given me what I need when I need it, who has provided for me in ways that I wouldn't have ever dreamed of, and I still approach Him with this apprehention like He's going to just decide He's not in the mood to meet me where I am and instead, He's going to choose to leave me hanging and wondering what to do next. Um, right. Because He's done that before…

So, dragon in the toilet and apprehention looming- I know you're both myths. I know that neither of you will ever be truth. I know what is truth, and I'm going to choose that now instead of you.

I don't really know why I'm amazed every time the Lord provides what I need when I need it, but I am. And I'm so thankful….

Last Friday, today, and tomorrow, I am a spanish teacher. Yes, that's right. A spanish teacher. Do I know spanish? Un poco, pero no mucho. (i thought about writing this entire entry in spanish, but then i realized not many people who read this would actually be able to read it, and the story wouldn't be nearly as funny… besides, do you know how much work that would be for me? no bueno…) I have two Spanish 2 classes, two Spanish 4 classes, and a Heritage Speakers class. That class is stinkin' cool- it's primarily students whose native language is Spanish, so I understood about, oh, 5% of the conversation going on around me. It's really interesting (or should i say interesante?…) to talk with them- I'm looking forward to having that class again. BUT, this is not the point of my story…

On Friday during 5th hour (which is the biggest class, by the way), the students were studying for their upcoming final and I was… well, I don't know what I was doing, but my back was hurting, so I decided to stretch back in the rolly desk chair that I was sitting in. I had popped my back and was stretching just a liiiiittle further back before returning to my upright and locked position when suddenly, disaster struck. I felt the wheels of the chair start to slip out from under me and…. BAM, I hit the floor. Big time. So, here I am, with the biggest class of the day, sitting in a chair that has now flipped onto its backside and taken me with it. As I laid there laughing (because that's how i cope with looking like an idiot) and listening to a room full of students laughing, I thought to myself, "There is absolutely no graceful or dignified way to recover from this." So I straddled the chair, since it was the only way I could sit up (thank God i was wearing capris instead of a skirt…), looked at the class, and said, "You have my full permission to laugh, because that was hilarious…" And they did. A lot and loudly. Thanks, guys. I knew that I'd have a battle wound from the experience, but what I didn't know is that it would look like this~

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Um, yes- can you say it with me now? Mucho penoso… very painful. It hurts to sit. It hurts to stand up. It hurts to walk. It hurts to ride my bike over bumps. It hurts when I bump my leg into things. It hurts to lay down. It just hurts. And I discovered another bruise on the opposite leg last night when my mom playfully bumped the back of my calf and searing pain shot through my body. My mom's a She-Ra and all, but it wasn't her astromical strength that did me in- it was that she managed to land riiiight on the other bruise with her knee. I always say if you're going to do it, do it right, and, well, I think I did this one up right.

Let's hope the chair decided to cooperate with me the next two days…

SAVED BY THE BELL!!!

Episode #50623481- The Reunion

Zack, Kelly and Jessi are hanging out at The Blue Room (the new hang out since The Max went out of business because Max turned out to be a drug addict.).

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Good thing Mr. Belding wasn't there- these kids would have definitely been sent to the office!

The evening went on, and fun was had by all, but wait? Who are these new characters?

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Tim and Aimee join the reunion from the lost episode of "Screw The Max, We're Going to Chubby's Because Max is on Crack"

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Sadly, that episode never aired because Lisa and Screech were jealous of the friendships that developed between the five without them. However, good times were had by all, and happy birthday was sang by a large black woman with more soul in her pinky than whitey here has in her entire body. 

Last weekend, I went to my home-away-from-home to celebrate my b-day with great friends. Friday night, we had Mudhouse (seriously, folks- i’m an addict.) and went to Ernie Bigg’s, a dueling piano bar.

group.jpgSo fun. I highly recommend it.

Christen and Chris were taking their niece to Silver Dollar City on Saturday, and invited me to come along. I hadn’t been in a while and nothing is boring with Christen around, so I took their invitation and off to Steal Your Dollar City we went. It was pretty good times- a little chilly, but still fun. However, allow me to tell you why vegetarians should NEVER go to SDC and plan to eat a meal…

It was dinnertime, and like most people at dinnertime do, I started my exploration to find something to eat. Before I really get started in this story, let me tell you the “special event” that is going on at SDC right now- it’s the Bluegrass and BBQ Festival… The bluegrass was great. The BBQ? Well, remember that, as stated, I’m a vegetarian. So, we roll up to the place where we’re going to eat, and look at what I’m greeted with…

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Oh, baby- the house of barbeque… my dream. I looked around inside and my options were meat, meat, meat, or corn. I decided to go for the corn. BUT here’s the problem. There was no corn. HOW DO YOU RUN OUT OF CORN AT A BBQ FESTIVAL? AND AT SDC? Come on here, people. Help a vegetarian out. So, I proceeded to go to the place that sauteed veggies on a big skillet that I saw when we were walking around earlier. Christen came with me on my quest. We found the place, I was set to order, but then, OH!, what’s in both varieties they have? One has chicken, one has ham… strike 2. Then I saw a place with fried potatoes- I can eat fried potatoes! I went up to the little hut, explained my predicament and asked if I could make my own sort of combo. She then informed me that they fry the potatoes in lard- would that be okay? NO!!! Strike 3- I was out. SO, I gave up and decided to go back to the fish place on the other side of the park that I saw while Chris and Emily were riding a water ride (great idea, guys…). At this time is was around 5:45-6ish, and when I rolled up to the fish place, here’s what I found-

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Anybody notice anything wrong here? Yeah, it was closed. IT’S DINNER TIME AT SDC!!! What dinner-type place closes before 6:30 at an amusement park? Jim Owen’s Fish Camp and Grill. That kind of place. is there such thing as strike 4? So, what did I do? Oh, I found my dinner.

kettle corn.jpg Kettle corn. Sweet kettle corn… how I love thee and how I ate over half the bag… But I still had my free meal ticket, so I kept up the quest so that free wouldn’t be wasted. I finally found something at 6:30- a half hour before the park closed. What does free get you at SDC? This~

potatoes.jpg Yum. Potato chips and a coke. THUMBS UP!
Thanks, SDC for a great dinner. I mean, popcorn and potato chips are great and all, but… I expected more from you. Christen suggested I sue SDC for vegetarian’s rights and then support her off the money. Sounds like a great idea to me. Anybody know a good lawyer?…

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(me and my cohort resting after an exhausting adventure through the park…)

Alright, folks. Here’s me, refusing to play dead. Refusing to allow perceived circumstance to dictate how I live. Refusing to buy into the propaganda posting itself inside my mind…

Things have S-U-C-K-E-D in the last couple of weeks. I mean, sucked bad. First of all, I make drama where no drama need be made. Situations get into my mind, and suddenly what was a pebble in my path becomes an avalance falling on my head. It’s a gift, really. Not everyone is this incredibly skilled at making something from nothing. Then, I’ve been sick this week. Yeah, I started getting sick on my birthday and then spent all day Monday on the couch, either sleeping or watching TV. Happy 27th. That’s really great for the moral. (no worries, though- i’m feeling much better now thanks to my echnamide anti-v formula. thanks for your concern.) THEN, the Lord has chosen now to reveal some things that need to come to the surface and be examined in the light of truth. Great? Yes. Causing a lot of tears? Uh, yes. Add to that some… over-emotionalism… happening and you’ve got one messed up little girl.

At church, Tim has been talking about the concept of being hidden in the Lord and what that might look like in our faith. Through what he’s talking about and through a conversation with a friend, I decided to explore being hidden in the Lord. What was I actually doing? Hiding from the world. I was using the guise of hiddenness to place my heart in a galvanized steel cage where I could keep a better watch on it. See, as long as I had it in my cage, it was out of reach of potential harm. It couldn’t get too out of hand, couldn’t be placed in the wrong hands, and essentially, couldn’t feel hurt. Well, guess what happened. All the things that I thought I was protecting myself from entered into the cage with my tender heart. And then some. I found myself trapped in a cage of my own making, fighting a fight that I didn’t have near enough the strength to handle, alone because, hey, I’m hidden in God right now!

Last night at LSCC, Jack stopped me and asked if he could pray for me and how because he could tell that I wasn’t doing well. It kind of floored me, and I knew that it was the Lord through Jack speaking to me. His words and prayer were so encouraging, and I walked away knowing that the Lord was telling me that I was going to be okay and it was time to step out of the cage. He’d already unlocked it, and was just waiting for me to come out on my own.

Why am I choosing to write about this? Because this is who I am. I’m not writing this hoping for your attention, wanting you to notice me, or trying to find acceptance. (some of the propaganda in my mind i bought into) I’m writing because this is an outlet, and if you choose to read it, then I pray that you’ll somehow be encouraged, or challenged, or you’ll connect with what I’m saying and my words can be used to help you… or that maybe you’ll just laugh with me at what I like to call my life. There’s lots of laughable moments. It would be a shame to just laugh by myself.

So, goodbye, steel cage. You were kind of cold, and I’m not really into being cold. Besides, there’s all kinds of people waiting on the outside for me, and I think they’re pretty great.

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