it’s the most wonderful time of the year

Some may say that Christmas is the best season of all. To those people, I say fie on you.

Welcome to my most favoritist season ever! Today is Ash Wednesday, marking the beginning of Lent. I love the Lenten season. Every year, the Lord does something way cool in my life through this season. There’s something about the denial of self, the acknowledgement of sacrifice, the preparation of what’s to come that’s just… terrible and beautiful all at the same time. There’s something about setting your eyes on the cross and its implications in your life that brings about revelations that can’t and won’t occur otherwise. So, welcome, my friends to the most wonderful time of the year. I pray that you will be able to experience the terrible beauty of this time, and that the Lord will reveal new and amazing things in your life throughout the season of Lent.

 

excuse me?…

To all my single ladies, I have the solution. For those of you who think “something must be wrong with me!” or “if I could only lose that 5 pounds!” or “it must be my plastic unicorn collection!” it’s time to learn the error of our ways! How, you ask? By together asking ourselves the question…

Why didn’t I think of that? It must just be about being able to “catch” the right one!!!! I can’t believe I’ve been approaching this all wrong the entire time! From now on, you’ll find me at the bus station. Waiting to catch my man. Since that is my role and all. And because men are like buses, right?…

(*this is an actual book offered by the local Christian bookstore in the “single living” section… anyone notice the other titles around it? getting serious about getting married… what to do until love finds you… how to avoid the 10 mistakes single women make… sassy, single, and satisfied… single and loving it!… if anyone asks why Christian women tend to struggle with being satisfied in singleness, i’m pointing them to the single living section where singleness is made to look like a disease that needs to be cured or something that we have to work our way out of. and then i’m going to go read something that tells me about my selfworth. like the Bible. not sassy, single, and satisfied. i hate you, single living section.)

*EDIT- In case you’re curious, I wasn’t actually looking for a book in the single living section.  I was pointing out the ridiculous book titles to my mom.  Not parusing the shelves.  Just making fun of them.  I promise.  You can ask my mom…

 

uummmmm…

today’s a half day

i only have each class for 11 minutes

why are we even having class

oh well still a half day

iiiiiiiiiiii want to cut my hair off…

 

the land of the overwhelmed

Welcome to the land of the overwhelmed.  In the land of the overwhelmed, people fill their plates with much more than they can handle, and they bite off more than they can chew.  Living in the land of the overwhelmed leads to many “enjoyable” experiences… 

For example, one barely has time to do what one really enjoys doing, like talking with friends, blogging, working out, spending time with family, having a general social life, having a general any kind of life, and instead is allowed to revel in the exciting world of work, school, homework and responsibility.  One doesn’t know how to fit into one 24 hour period all that “needs” to be done and still sleep, so nothing gets done the way it should and sleep is found to be an elusive concept.

But what of the times when the person feels the effects of this land?  That’s when emotional breakdown occurs because of words said in a cross manner, or assignments that aren’t understood, or a student that smarts off, or boy that calls an hour later than when girl thought he would which must mean he’s completely uninterested because that’s the only “logical” conclusion, or emotions that resurface from the still-occuring grieving process.  That’s also when one realizes that priorities need to be re-prioritized, because things are all discombobulated, but one doesn’t know how to go about the process…

Who wants to join me?  Anyone?…  anyone?  I didn’t think so. 

Can anyone get ME out?…

 

cabin fever

I can’t believe I’m about to say this…

WHY IS SCHOOL CANCELLED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M GOING STIR CRAZY IN THIS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

just another sunday night in st joe…

Everyone, meet Sarah-

Sarah, this is everyone…

Sarah is my adorable 15 year old cousin. Sarah and I share the best middle name in the whole wide world… Jean. Sarah and I are both total dorks. Sarah and I have been spending a lot of time together lately. Sarah and I make a fun combination!

Last Sunday night, I went and picked up Sarah in Gower, and we headed up to St Joe, which is only 15 minutes from Gower, to hang out. We drove around for a little bit trying to figure out where we were going, and we finally landed at Cheddars. The food was good, the conversation was great, and the waiter was weird… Anyway, after Cheddars, we were heading back to Gower (because what else is there to do in st joe on a sunday night?) when we passed the Hallmark- the closed Hallmark. Sarah then YELLS out, “Wait! Go back! I want to go look through the dumpster!” Me- “You’re weird.” BUT, due to Sarah’s persistance and my curiousity, we turned around and headed for the back of the store. Apparently, one of Sarah’s friends found a WHOLE candle set when she went dumpster diving that matched her room!!!! Oh, to be 15 again… So, Sarah gets out of the car, when it’s like 30 degrees outside, wearing shorts and flip flops, and starts digging through the dumpster.

How’s that for proof? Unfortunately, her search turned up empty. Who would have thought? We had to try though, because you never know when a treasure might be waiting just underneath all the empty boxes… Ah, that’s my girl!

 

grief revisited

I was sitting in the library today during first hour when I overheard one of the librarians talking about a wreck that happened involving three students from LSW.  One of them, a 16 year old boy, was killed.  I was shocked at how quickly everything came back- everything, and so vividly.  My immediate thoughts went to the family and what the next week will bring for them.  The phone calls, the funeral arrangements, the cards, the emotion.  I thought I had a grasp of what dealing with death looked like, but after Abbie’s death, I realized that I had no idea- none.  It’s one of those things that you’ll never know until you’re in the situation.  Even then, you still don’t know what to do.  It’s been over a month now, and I keep thinking, when does it stop?  Truth be told, I don’t think it does.  It just gets easier… hopefully.  The past week has been hard for some reason.  Tuesday night I was driving home from yoga and the Rascal Flatts song “My Wish” came on. As I was listening, I knew I knew the song, and I knew it was associated with something sad, but I couldn’t place it. When I finally put it together, I lost it. At Christmas, we watched a picture DVD that a family friend had put together of pictures of Abbie, and “My Wish” was the last song on it- they said the song was Abbie’s wish for us. Next time you hear that song, listen to it with that as your thought… yeah, it’s a little overwhelming. The more I thought, the more upset I became. I’ve been asking the why questions lately… Why did a friend of mine have an accident almost identical to what happened with Abbie, yet they both walked away fine? Why did I let so much time pass without spending time with her? Why did it happen? Why, why why?… And I know that it’s not my place to question God- who am I? It’s hard not to be mad, not to ask. And it’s hard not to feel like I could have and should have been more involved in her life.  It’s just… hard.  And still so fresh.  So, now, I’ll pray for Tyler’s family, for the things they’ll have to face, for the grief and healing process that they’re going to go through, and I’ll pray knowing that there aren’t words, but the Lord still knows what I mean…

 

officially official

I’m officially starting my master’s program on Monday night!!!  Hooray for back to school…  It’s really kind of strange, going back and all, but I’m doing it.  In my undergrad years, I was the kid that was lucky to open a book for one of my classes, let alone actually read it.  (sorry, mom… but you probably already knew the truth)  I got a couple of my books last night during my enrollment-advisement-financial office-back to enrollment-advisement again-bookstore fiasco, and before classes even start, I’ve already read the first chapter in both of them…  and I’m interested in what they’re saying.  I’m not quite sure how to handle this whole “interested in education” thing.  It’s new.  Kind of foreign.  Kind of freaky.  But very welcome at the same time!  I’m sure it makes a huge difference when you know you’re actually going to be using the information that you’re learning, and when you actually want to learn it.  However, I’ve never done master’s classes, so I’m not sure what to expect.  I keep having these visions that on the first day of classes I end up like Elle Woods in “Legally Blonde”- you know, she’s the only unprepared one in the class and the teacher makes a fool of her and kicks her out.  Only I’m not a petite blonde with big boobs and a fancy convertible and a chihuahua who’s fighting some other chick for the rock.  I just want to be a teacher.  And I’m guessing there’s no rock involved.  Sad day.  But there are great benefits, so I’ll settle for that for now!  It’s definitely going to be interesting figuring out how juggle everything this semester- between subbing, photography, and class 3 nights a week, I think I’ll manage to keep myself busy…  (since that’s such a stretch for me)  Back to school, back to homework, back to papers, back to FUN!!!  From now on, you can just call me a Kangaroo!  GO ‘ROOS!  (who choses a kangaroo for a mascot anyway?  apparently umkc does…)

 

dancing queen

Santa brought me a pair of tap shoes for Christmas.

And to the 8 pounds that I’ve recently lost, welcome back. While I haven’t missed you, having you back isn’t so bad if it involves peanut butter bon-bons and Mema’s peanut butter chocolate sheet cake. But don’t get too comfortable. I’ll be tap dancing you away again soon.

 

this here is a shout out…

Hi Mema.    love you!

(don’t be jealous if your name isn’t mema.  1- not everyone could aspire to have such a cool title.  it’s reserved for the cream of the crop.  2- it’s not that i don’t love you, too, but i just love my mema a lot.)