I was sitting in the library today during first hour when I overheard one of the librarians talking about a wreck that happened involving three students from LSW.  One of them, a 16 year old boy, was killed.  I was shocked at how quickly everything came back- everything, and so vividly.  My immediate thoughts went to the family and what the next week will bring for them.  The phone calls, the funeral arrangements, the cards, the emotion.  I thought I had a grasp of what dealing with death looked like, but after Abbie’s death, I realized that I had no idea- none.  It’s one of those things that you’ll never know until you’re in the situation.  Even then, you still don’t know what to do.  It’s been over a month now, and I keep thinking, when does it stop?  Truth be told, I don’t think it does.  It just gets easier… hopefully.  The past week has been hard for some reason.  Tuesday night I was driving home from yoga and the Rascal Flatts song “My Wish” came on. As I was listening, I knew I knew the song, and I knew it was associated with something sad, but I couldn’t place it. When I finally put it together, I lost it. At Christmas, we watched a picture DVD that a family friend had put together of pictures of Abbie, and “My Wish” was the last song on it- they said the song was Abbie’s wish for us. Next time you hear that song, listen to it with that as your thought… yeah, it’s a little overwhelming. The more I thought, the more upset I became. I’ve been asking the why questions lately… Why did a friend of mine have an accident almost identical to what happened with Abbie, yet they both walked away fine? Why did I let so much time pass without spending time with her? Why did it happen? Why, why why?… And I know that it’s not my place to question God- who am I? It’s hard not to be mad, not to ask. And it’s hard not to feel like I could have and should have been more involved in her life.  It’s just… hard.  And still so fresh.  So, now, I’ll pray for Tyler’s family, for the things they’ll have to face, for the grief and healing process that they’re going to go through, and I’ll pray knowing that there aren’t words, but the Lord still knows what I mean…