What is this life but a passionate engagement?…

I’m the “coach” for Club 121, a club aimed at strengthening Christian students, at LSHS. This morning, the leadership students put together worship stations for club, and it so amazing. There were four different stations- drawing/letter writing, missions, prayer for LSHS, and prayer/praise. Let me tell you how cool it was to see students engaging in worship through these stations- cooler than an ice cream truck. At the prayer/praise station, Clint (a leadership student) made a cross with 3 nails on it, and as people wrote stuff down, they tacked it to the cross. We took them off after club so that we could pray for them, and it was so encouraging to me to read through them and pray along with the students. There’s some really rich prayers there- prayers that will move the heavens! So, I thought I’d post them here, so that you, if you feel so inclined, can join with us in praising God and lifting up prayers…. (these are the exact words they wrote!)

-my friend hasn’t been going to church lately and I’m worried he is trusting himself more than God. I pray he starts growing closer to God very soon so he doesn’t get into a bad habit of not spending time with God.

- A joy I have is that God is moving in my life and speaking to me.

-One of my friends has not been going to church like he used to, and I don’t think he is as close to God as he used to be. I pray that whatever is keeping him from God is fixed, and that God will come back into his life again.

-That our school would be reached through Christ. We would see students stand for Christ. Comfort and security in an inconsistant world. Peace that God is in control of my life, give it to God.

-Thank you Lord for blessing my life and the lives of those I know. I pray Lord that I will seek you more and that I will do your will always. I pray for the lost that they may know you and be reached by us, your followers. I pray that I won’t fall into the temptations seeking me everyday. I pray that your light will shine throughout the world and that there will be a change.

-lonely students at LSHS

-My Dad is slipping more and more from your faith God, please help me be a light to him.

-I am joyful for life in itself… you only have one to live and that is an opportunity, each and every day.

-Time… same as always, Lord. Help me to use it wisely, and to make it for you. Help me also to praise you in the bad times (and the good).

-I am joyful for the opportunities that God gives me every day to spread His word. I am concerned that sometimes I do not use these opportunities.

-I pray that my best friend would completely give her life to Jesus. I know she believes in God, but she’s a Catholic and she doesn’t understand her faith. So, I pray that she would come to Jesus and be excited about her faith.

-God, I thank You for what You’ve been doing in me lately. I thank you for helping me to overcome things and I just pray you keep helping me through them. God, I find joy just being with you. It is the best place I could ever be, with Your holy spirit.

-I have a joy in my friends. I am surrounded by wonderful people who do help me be a better person and Christian. My concern is for people who don’t know about God and also for people to know about purity, since the world isn’t always very pure. And you see that a lot in high school.

-Lord, thank You for students who love You! Build into them, Father. Show them Your love for them! We want more of You…

-Jesus* I give you the remainder of my senior year to You. Use it as You please… be glorified through me. te amo mucho! En el nombre de Jesus, Amen

-I’m so tired all the time and I’m making excuses to slack off in my time w/God… NOT COOL. My heart has been really heavy lately. Can’t get the death of one of my best friends off my mind. God has been giving me new strength everyday and has given me great people to talk my problems out with.

-My Grandmother is really sick and she keeps getting worse and I’m scared. I pray for a quick and full recovery. Also my mom is going through a divorce. This is a hard time for her. Please be with her Lord.

-Think more of God and take other stuff off my mind.

-bro.- drumline, relat.- mom, friend, students- LSHS and LSCC

-*Joy* for being with me- always! Thanks for your comfort… and guidance.

-I’m concerned that my desire for safety will prevent me from hearing God’s call for me. I’m also concerned for college, since I won’t know as many people. But a joy I have is this: I have come to realize that what college I go to is in God’s hands, so I’m worrying less about it now.

-My dad had a heart attack and the doctor told him to stop doing some things but he hasn’t so I’m afraid that he might have another one. My aunt and grandpa have had cancer but seem to be getting better. My grandma had heart surgery and is doing well.

-I want to be more bold. I hear people make fun of Christians and use Jesus’ name in vain every day, but I’m too afraid to take a stand. Please pray that God will give me the courage to stand up for Him. I’m tired of doing nothing.

James 5:16- Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for each other that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Dear Betsy,

I’m so sorry that I put you in this position. I know it would never be your intention to be hurt, nor was it mine to hurt you. It’s just that at the time, I had no other choice but you watch you go through the pain. From this point forward, I promise that, if a situation comes up again where you could be hurt, I’ll sacrifice myself to protect you. I’ve missed so much these past few days- I honestly don’t know how I’d make it without you. We’ve been through so much together, and I know we can just continue to build from here. I’m sorry that I’ve taken you for granted, and just know that now that your scars are gone, you’re more beautiful than ever. Our reunion today was wonderful- let’s not part ways again, okay? Thanks for being such a great car. I love you!

<><jessi

I'm currently sitting in a classroom listening to 4 15-17 year old special education students argue about tornados, since one of them heard a science teacher talking to another science teacher, and now a tornado is about to destroy LSHS. One knows everything, and if you don't understand, that's your fault. One is "skerd" of "tornaders". And he's the biggest kid in the class. Another just likes to argue, so he's debating the one who knows everything in the most shrill, resonating tone he can. And then there's the lone girl, trying to hold her own, and failing quite miserably. Then again, she never really makes a whole lot of sense. Now, since the tornados are going to sweep us all away, the track meet that was scheduled for this afternoon and was supposed to take one of my students out of my 7th hour was cancelled, which means now I get to figure out what to do with him since I already gave him the work since he wasn't supposed to be in class and he finished it in resource lab. Did I mention that he pretty much DEFINES ADHD? And that if he doesn't have something to do at all times, he makes me want to rip out my hair because he bounces off the wall? And that he's still one of my favorite students? I love teaching special ed. You never know from day to day what you're going to get…

by the way- in case you're wondering how to save yourself in a fire if you can't get out, one of the students (not involved in the first argument) said all you have to do is fill a bathtub with water and then drown yourself in it… thanks for the advice…

(beginning note of looking for sympathy….) I went on two long walks yesterday plus did weights, and now, I hurt. I haven’t worked out in about… 2 weeks, and now… I hurt… (let the sympathy begin)

At the risk of being as vague as humanly possible, the Lord has delivered me. I’m free, my friends. FREE!!!! I, however, did not don body paint, give an elaborate speech, and then yell “FREEDOM!!!!!” at the end, charging towards the bad guys on a horse. (you know, i’ve never even seen braveheart…) Instead, I stood in awe at the goodness of a God who rescues His people. It was quite a beautiful moment. Even better than charging the bad guys on a horse.

(bits and pieces of) Psalm 34- I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together! I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

i love my church. a lot.

i watch saturday morning t.v. designed for preteens, and i’m not ashamed.

my family is one of the most important things in the world to me.

my friends are amazing. a-ma-zing.

i really enjoy being a girl.

i think being a girl sucks. but only sometimes.

i hate waking up.

i walked to work this morning.

i got paid today, too.

i have no idea where i’ll be past june.

i love that i have no idea where i’ll be past june.

matters of the heart can be quite fun.

i think i might be allergic to cats.

me and ice tea are really good friends. especially spiced chai iced tea.

i haven’t bought a pair of shoes in 3 months.

easter is my favorite holiday.

my mom still makes me hunt for my easter baskets. and i love it.

when my dad cooks, the house stinks.

my signature is completely illegible on student passes.

i like to use big words.

i don’t always understand the big words i use.

i hate mowing. with a passion unspeakable.

i hate disorganization.

i have a lot of free time at work.

if i could eat mr sushi and custard’s last stand every day, i’d be happy.

life is good. really good….

I just got smacked in the face. The wha??? The face. I was talking with my good friend Holly about some stuff going on in my life that I’ve been trying to get to the core of for about, oh, 3 years, when BAM, the Lord decided to unlock a huge piece of the puzzle. What would that piece be? Self control. I love it when it’s something totally easy to fix… (she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm) This weekend, as previously stated, I hung out at a Disciple Now in Raymore, and the topic for the weekend was pretty much the decisions we make as Christians. We talked a lot about compromise, and the Lord pretty much called me to the carpet on compromise in my speech. Not that I cuss like a sailor or anything, but it’s definitely an area that I could use improvement in. I’ve been thinking about it the past couple of days a lot and allowing myself to see the areas of compromise that, perhaps, the Lord was speaking of, and realizing it comes down to lack of self control. So, when I was talking with Holly today, she asked me what I thought was at the core of what I’m trying to deal with, and instead of “I’m not really sure,” coming out, I heard “I think it all boils down to self control…” and then sat in stunned silence as I recognized that the Lord had just spoken a direct word into my heart. I love it when He weaves things together like that. I’m also a big fan of the fact that we can now tackle two areas with the growth of one fruit of the spirit. I’m convinced that more “areas” will begin to reveal themselves as this road is travelled, but I’m also convinced that the Lord is big enough to grant me the strength that I need to persevere, and win the victory. So, thanks, Lord. It’s good to be called Your beloved…

Psalm 66:8-12- Bless our God, O peoples; let the sound of his praise be heard, who has kept our soul among the living and has not let our feet slip. For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried. You brought us into the net; you laid a crushing burden on our backs; you let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.

In case you don’t know, I have a nephew. He’s 2 1/2, and his name is Gavyn. And he’s pretty much the cutest thing ever. Allow me to convince you of why this is true. Yesterday, after a great weekend spent hanging out with a group of high school studentsand some great friends, I came home exhausted. (did you read yesterday’s post? yeah, that exhausted…) I thought about going to my church’s evening service, but when it came down to it, I just didn’t have the energy. I had pretty much sang my voice out (i sound a bit like a man today…) and heard some really good words over the weekend, so I figured the Lord would be good with it.
And the thought of being around A LOT of people- not appealing at the time. But, this is about my nephew, not my anti-social tendencies… I called my sister-in-law, Ang, to ask her the spelling of my niece’s name (which, in case you’re interested, is
taylor. taylor has yet to make her debut- that’ll be around may 18, and then I’ll also have the cutest niece in the world, too) and I found out they would be coming by later that evening. Hooray! I would get to play with my precious nephew- that thought
woke me up a bit. When they showed up, he came ripping in like he owned the place (as always, because he pretty much does) and exclaimed with pride, “I’m here!” Let the games begin. There was jumping, flipping, laughing, tickling, screaming, sword fighting,running… you name it. See, Gavyn was a touch more boisterous than normal- he had some sugar before arriving at our house… GOOD TIMES!!!! Several of my favorite occurances- I taught him a little somethin-somethin that’s our little thing- I’ll ask him, “Gavyn,
who’s my favorite nephew?” to which he responds shyly, “Ah, Gavyn”
which normally comes out as “Gahwin” or “Gahbin”. “V”s aren’t an intregal part of his vocabulary yet. Then, I ask, “And who’s your favorite aunt?” to which he responds, “Se-se!” (that’s me-
jessi’s a little harder, and let’s be honest, having a little guy call you se-se is adorable on so many levels). Normally, there’s a little hesitation, but he still answers. Last night, I ask the first question, and he yells with zero hesitation, “GAVYN!!!” and same
with “SE-SE!!!” I almost dropped him I was laughing so hard. He was very confident in his answers that time! Instance numero dos- I have 2 sets of Hulk Hands- imagine green boxing gloves that look like the Hulk’s fist and you’ve got it- that Gayvn calls pow-pows and we play with them quite frequently. (“Se-se, I want pow-pows! Pow-pows! Pow-pows!…”) We got them out,
and I realized just how hilarious it is to see him standing there with that “I’m going to attack you and there’s nothing you can do about it” look with the gigant green gloves on his hands that basically consume his entire arm. Literally, the gloves connect with his armpits leaving him with two giant hands and no arms. OH, SO CUTE! And then he proceeded to beat me… surprisingly cute as
well. I started a new thing with him last week that adds new excitement to jumping on the bed. When he hits the floor, I bounce him right back up to the bed. When we were jumping off and back on the bed last night, I asked him, “How do you do that?”, to which he looks at me with those precious blue eyes, and says, “I just jump!” The kid actually believes that he has super-human powers. He kept marvelling at himself all night- “I don’t know, Se-se- I just jump!”. Having a small child around is really great
for helping to keep your sense of wonder. While I could keep going, I think I’ve proven my point. I’m a proud aunt, and while he may be only 2 feet tall, he’s still the man in my life, and I adore him. Let’s be honest- who wouldn’t adore a face like this?

On today, Sunday, March 26, I wish you and yours a Make Up Your Own Holiday Day. You don’t believe me? Well, guess what- it just became Punch Yourself in the Face Day. Because today is Do Everything Jessi Says Day. Didn’t you get the memo? It is National Send a Worthless Memo Day. Hm, maybe you didn’t, because it’s also Don’t Read Anything That Anyone Sends You In a Worthless Memo Day. Bummer. If it weren’t I Don’t Give a Flying Rip Day, I might care. But, wait, since it is It’s a Big Deal, Guys Day, does that mean that I should care that it’s Don’t Write Any Stupid Blog Entries Day? I think it just became Jessi Needs to Go to Bed Day…

So, here I am reflecting on my life. As one of my best friends would say, "Jessi, you're always reflecting on your life…" Yes, yes, but I guess it keeps me on my toes. I've spent my evening making cookies (ah, the famous cookies!), praying for my upcoming Disciple Now weekend experience and for students I've come in contact with over the years, listening to some David Crowder Band, praising God right along with them, and in the course of all this, my heart began to rejoice thinking of just how much the Lord has used my life. I began to praise my Lord for the things that He's done that in the past, I would have tried to punch Him for (by the way- i don't really recommend that. He's kind of bigger than you…) and it's a beautiful thing. The Lord is so good to His people- so good- and I love how His timing is so impeccable. Sometimes, I admit, I thought He had no idea what He was doing (yeah- okay jess…) and I had no idea where we were going… oh, how my flesh misunderstood His plan. I would go through it all again, though, knowing how much He's used every season, every hurt, every joy… all for His glory, His renown. So, here's my advice to you, the one who chooses to read this blog- don't for one second think that the Lord doesn't have your best at heart, that He's leading you down a path too difficult for you to go down, that no good could ever come from where you might be at, that you're the only one who's dealt with pain. No, my friend- that's just the lies of the enemy. Don't buy into it. Instead, cling to truth, invest where the return will be greater than your wildest dreams, and know that the Lord is the Lord, He'll do His thing, and you'll stand in awe. Ah, Jesus, my heart overflows…

The Lord is so good. So good. Remember the whole me complaining about the hail damage? Allow me to tell you, in brief, the course of events today and why I am now praising the Lord for “hurling ice balls” at my car. I went to the insurance man today. He said, “Hey, you have $1,925 worth of hail damage. Let me give you a check for $1,675 (since $250 of that $1,925 is your responsibility) for you to go get it fixed on your own because we have too many of these to deal with. Have fun!” Okay, maybe those weren’t the exact words used, but you get the jist. So, I take my check and I head to the local body shop. What do they tell me there? “Well, ma’am, after looking over your car, it’ll cost you $1017 to fix it with us.” I know what you’re thinking- by golly, those numbers aren’t the same! You’re right. They aren’t. In fact, they’re about $658 apart. In case you’re not following me here, I basically made $650 off the hail damage. WHAT INSURANCE COMPANY DOES THAT?!?!?! One that has the hand of God writing the check for one of His children in need of blessing. I drove home from the body shop in tears because of the amazing way that the Lord continually takes care of me. The great thing is that as I was sitting in the waiting room in the body shop, I was journaling about how I’m so thankful for the amazing season that He’s allowing me to be in right now. And then He said, “You think I’ve done some great stuff so far? You ain’t seen nothing yet, my beloved!” What an amazing life I’m allowed to live…

Isaiah 1:19- If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land
Isaiah 61:3- …to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.